


A secret

by cow_cookies



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, secret place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9564248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cow_cookies/pseuds/cow_cookies
Summary: Margaret and Hawkeye share a secret place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Mianmaru for betaing. This is a little sketch made by me, it came into being thanks to procrastination. By the way I will never again draw his hawaiian shirt. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Margaret was tired. After the endless shift in OR she was just trying to get some peaceful sleep. But as always she was tossing and turning until early in the morning. She couldn’t sleep more than half an hour without waking up again. It wasn’t the nightmares, she barely had any dreams but something was keeping her from sleeping. 

She got up, put on her boots and walked to the lawn right next to the minefield. The blonde sat down facing the rising sun. 

 

Hawk was sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree as he heard someone coming. To his surprise it was Margaret slumping just a few meters in front of him on the ground, her back to him. He was watching her as she leaned back on her hands letting the sun slowly climb down her face and body.

He’d come here to think and relax and was wondering if she had the same in mind.

 

“New on the block?” He asked.

 

Margaret was jumping to her feet, ready to fight any upcoming thread. 

 

“Oh you!” She stated angrily as she saw him, letting her fists sink.

 

He smiled softly as he replied “Sorry Major, I didn’t want to scare you.”

 

“You didn’t! I just… I just… Oh heck!” She sat down next to him.

 

“What are you doing here, Pierce? I thought at least here I would have a bit of peace.” 

 

“Actually that is what I was looking for, too. So, let’s have a cease-fire for now?”

 

“Fine with me as long as you are not annoying me or trying to...”

 

“Margaret...” He was rolling his eyes.

 

“Oh fine. Cease-fire!”

 

He was smiling at her, glad about this reaction. He wasn’t in the mood to fight, joke or flirt. All he wanted was just some quietness. The time went by as they sat under the tree, each in their own thoughts. None of them said a word.

 

“ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL...” Came the announcement over the PA, pulling them out of their daydreams. They both listened to the call for duty. 

 

“Time to go love…” Hawk sighed after listening to the announcement. 

 

“Shut up, Pierce!” 

 

“And we are back!” He grinned mockingly.

 

With this they headed for a new day in their personal purgatory. 

The day was long and exhausting, like all the others. In OR, Hawk and Bj were joking and bantering all the time. Margaret gave out to them and the nurses and Charles was moping about the conditions. Just an ordinary day in this not so ordinary place. Margaret was glad nothing had changed after this strange morning. She felt awkward working next to him after the sudden cease-fire but it all worked out as normal. 

Hawk didn’t waste a second thought on their arrangement. For him it was just a temporary contract which had ended as soon as they entered the compound.

 

* * *

 

Days flew by and Margaret got to the edge. The lack of sleep as well as the endless coming stream of wounded wore her down. 

After days had turned into weeks she found herself on the lawn again watching the lights of exploding shells in the distance. 

 

Hawk was restless and angry. He had lost a civilian that day, a young girl who was looking for mines on a nearby field. He hated losing a patient but losing a young girl made him mad. He strolled around looking for some relieve for this pressure. He needed Margaret or better Charles to fight with. None of them was around. 

His way brought him near the tree as he saw Margaret sitting in the grass, leaning against the oak. 

 

“Hey.” Hawk said.

 

Margaret was looking up, sighing “You again? Why are you not with your buddies, drinking gin and chasing nurses?”

 

“I needed some space.”

 

“It was a hard day, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yes I still think about this girl. She shouldn’t have died!”

 

“No she shouldn't. But you couldn't have done more.”

 

“I could have been faster, we could had been better prepared. I could have had better assistance.”

 

“What?” Margaret was growling.

 

“Your nurses are not able to do the easiest things! I just-” He started angrily.

 

“Hang on, buster! My nurses are the best trained staff in whole Korea and if you have any complaints, go blow it out your ears!” She shouted as she jumped to her feet. 

 

“Oh, of course, Major. Your staff must be as great as their leader, because otherwise the leader has failed.” He was staring directly into her eyes.

 

“My staff is the best you can get and this applies also to their leader.” She got closer to him, clenching her fists. 

 

“You failed!” Hawk stepped towards her, eyes still locked with hers.

 

“I. did. not!”

 

“You. did!”

 

Now they were belly to belly, staring into each other's eyes, bodies all tense. Minutes went by and neither Hawk nor Margaret moved. 

As something in his eyes changed, Margaret all of a sudden got very unsure. She released a frustrated yell and dropped herself against the stem. She buried her face in her hands. 

Hawkeye had felt his anger dissipate as he stared into her eyes. He was thankful for the fight. It was exactly what he had needed. 

He settled next to Margaret, staring into the air.  

None of them said a word nor moved till dinner time.

 

“I’m sorry.” Came his abrupt apology.  

 

“You better are!” 

 

“Listen Margaret, I was just very frustrated. And I apologize for my assault.”

 

“I can imagine that you are under pressure, especially today, but if you take it out on me for no reason ever again, you are doomed!”

 

“Accepted.” He smiled lightly. “Let's say this tree is our safe zone. We will come here to rest and recover. No fights, no assaults, no war.”

 

“I’m not sure, if I want to share with you.” She eyed him suspiciously. 

 

“Well Margaret, I think you have no choice! Or find another place.” 

 

“I won’t!”

 

“Then you have to share with me.” He was grinning.

 

Margaret was just rolling her eyes as Hawk got up. He was holding his hand out to her.

 

“What do you think about dinner?”

 

“I agree to our safe zone, Pierce but the rest will stay as it was. No difference in normal life.”

 

“If you like it, you’ll have it.” 

 

She grabbed his hand and was pulled to her feet. They walked into the camp and Margaret turned towards her home away from home as Hawk went into the mess tent. He joined Bj and Charles, after grabbing something which was supposed to be food. It was all normal just like Margaret had wanted it to. She accompanied the group later and the usual banter was on. 

Weeks passed by and with them an endless stream of casualties while the two of them meet every now and then under the tree.

 

* * *

 

Hawkeye was thinking about the last few days as he sat in his favorite spot. First they had met there sporadically but soon it had become a kind of ritual. Whenever it was a bad day or even a good one, they found themselves under the big oak. Mostly, they didn’t speak just enjoyed the quietness together. Today he was alone, Margaret had to take stock. He felt a bit lonely without her but still couldn't bring himself to return to the camp. He loved Bj, and Charles wasn’t as annoying as in the beginning but at the moment he needed to be here and not in all that chaos. He closed his eyes.

Margaret let herself drop next to Hawkeye an hour later. She hated doing inventory and was glad that he was still there. She leaned against his shoulder as she closed her eyes as well.

 

“I thought you wouldn't come today.” He said tired as he put his arm around her. 

She was too sleepy to pull away. 

 

“I just felt as if I really needed being here.”

 

“I really need you to be here as well.” Hawk said not noticing his slip of tongue, while slowly drifting off.

 

“What did you say?” 

 

“I don’t know.” He mumbled with his last strength. 

 

Margaret wasn’t sure if she had heard right but decided to let it go, her own exhaustion weighing heavy on her. 

After a short nap, she was able to think again. She looked up at Hawkeye, who was still dozing. She knew it wasn’t right to lean against him but it gave her a cosy warm feeling she wasn’t willing to give up. She was about to allow herself one more minute but Hawkeye was faster, already opening one eye.

 

“We should go back. It is time for my gin.” 

 

“You go first this time.” She returned a bit disappointed.

 

They had agreed that it would be better not to go back to the camp together too often.. “Don’t stay too long. It is getting cold.” He said as he got up.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m a big girl.”

 

“Well then, big girl, good night.” On an sudden impulse he bent down to press a brief kiss on her head. Hawk was in his best mood as he left the  disbelieving Margaret behind.

 

* * *

 

Hawkeye had just reached the compound as Bj stopped him.

 

“Where have you been hiding lately? I missed you at the last poker game and it is not the same sipping gin without you. Recently I was actually tempted to talk to Charles!” 

 

“Oh my god Beej. I didn’t know it would be this bad. I’m really sorry.” The other grinned.

 

“Now, where have you been? Do you have a new nurse or something?”

 

“No, I am quite stressed out lately and my doctor says I should go for a walk at least once a day.” Hawk responded playfully.  

 

“Mhh… If you say so. Maybe I could join you next time.” Bj couldn't quite believe it but took it as it was. “What do you think, in for a drink?”

 

“You are still asking?” Hawkeye answered, immediately thinking of a strategy to avoid going on a walk with Bj. He wasn’t ready to share his secret and didn’t even want to imagine what Margaret would do to him if he would.

 

Margaret sat in her tent, recalling the brief kiss over and over again. She was sure it meant nothing but what if? She already started to regret the whole situation, she had gotten herself into. Not only the kiss but all of it. She wasn’t supposed to feel good when being close to him and especially not disappointed if he wasn’t around. She straightened herself and decided that it was just a physical thing and really meant nothing. He was like coffee, if she needed it to feel better she would have it. No emotional or romantic background, maybe a friendship.

 

* * *

 

The last days were shattering and to make it worse, Margaret had to instruct two new nurses. They were very young and not at all prepared to work in a M*A*S*H unit. Margaret was sure in a few days she would just simply explode and someone would have to scrape her of the walls. 

 

She was pacing around, trying to reduce some of her pressure as Hawk arrived at their usual spot. He was watching her as he settled down. 

 

“What’s wrong Margaret?” 

 

“Nothing.”

 

He was eyeing her suspiciously.

 

“Mhh, sure.... Tell me!” 

 

“It is nothing. I’m just tense and I don’t know why. Well, I didn’t sleep very well but- ” She stated annoyed.

 

He pulled her down on his lap. Staring into his eyes, she slowly relaxed against him. Hawk was kind of surprised. He had expected she would throw a fit. She turned her back to his belly and settled between his legs. His arms came around her stomach and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He felt a prickling in his tummy but forced it down.

She sensed her tense muscles relaxing soon, although her head kept protesting. She tried to keep up her resolve but his body felt warm against hers and his arms made her feel safe and protected. It was just coffee. 

Hawk started humming an old tune and Margaret was asleep in no time. He followed her a few minutes later.

 

It was already dark as she woke. She hadn’t slept this good in ages. Cuddling deeper against his belly, she let herself enjoy the situation as long as possible. Unconsciously, he tugged her closer, sighing a moan of comfort. She smiled, that was the coffee she needed today.

He slept another half an hour until Margaret decided to return to the compound. She tried to get up as careful as possible but as soon as she left his arms, he stirred and whined, “Nah, don’t go. It was so comfy.”

 

“But it is already dark. We should walk home. Who knows, maybe by now Bj is looking for you again.

 

“You’ll go first, Mags. I’ll follow as soon as I’m awake.” He said, yawning and stretching his extremities.

 

* * *

  
  


She made her way back to the camp, thinking about him using a nickname for her. Mags? It was another step on a way she wasn't sure she liked. It confused her. She was strong and didn’t need someone else to hold her together. She could admit that it was nice to have a proper sleep but not in his arms. Coffee or not. Thinking about it now, she didn’t even know why she had permitted herself to stay in his lap at all.

 

She met him on duty in pre-op that night. As all the patients were set, they had a brief moment of rest. 

 

“Hawkeye?” She asked him, sitting down next to the desk he was working on. 

 

“Mh?”

 

“Tell me, why did you call me Mags earlier?”

 

“Uh…” He was looking up. “I don’t know. ‘Margaret’ was too long I guess?” 

 

She wasn’t satisfied, “Too long? You're sure that’s it?”

 

“I really hadn't thought about it. Maybe I was just not awake… Why is this so important? Don’t you like ‘Mags’?”

 

“No, I mean yes… I mean I’m not sure if I like YOU calling me this.”

 

“Why not? It is just a normal nickname.”

 

“That’s it. You never had a decent one for me. Didn’t you notice things change?”

 

“Things change? I don’t know. We might be something like Friends now but does it really change something?”

 

“Right we are friends now. It is okay to be friends.” She said more to herself.

 

“Sure it is.” He looked confused. 

 

“But at least don’t call me ‘Mags’ in camp!”

 

“Okay with me.” He shrugged his shoulders and returned to his papers.

 

Margaret felt foolish. Of course he hadn't spent a second thought. Why should he? They were just friends. The thought soothed her and the absolutely ordinary nightshift reassured her even more.

 

* * *

 

Accepting them to be pals calmed her down. She got used to their daily meetings under the tree and even longed for them on hard days.

Margaret's morning was awful. She had gotten into a big fight with one of her nurses. All she wanted was respect and maybe a little bit of comity but all she got was gossiping about her and witty remarks about her orders. She felt the world crashing down on her and made her way to the safe zone as soon as her shift in post-op was over.

 

He was already sitting in their usual place, waiting for her. Knowing she would need him. Margaret was nearly crying, as she saw him she couldn’t keep it together any longer. He opened his arms and she let herself fall into the embrace. Her face on his chest, sobbing helplessly, while he soothingly rubbed her back.

 

“It’s alright, Mags. Just a hard day. Tomorrow it will be all better. You will see, it all turns out well.”

 

As she stopped crying, the awkward situation slowly came to her mind. She hadn’t cried in front of someone else since childhood and couldn’t believe she just let Hawkeye see it. She freed herself from his embrace and huffed. 

 

“What is it?” He asked puzzled.

 

“Mind your own business!”

 

“Remember, safe zone!” 

 

She hesitated to answer a few seconds, “I don’t cry and especially not in front of you!”

“Oh c'mon, Mags. That is silly… above all we are under the tree. Everything is allowed.”

 

She smiled lightly, “not everything.”

 

He cracked his eyebrow, grinning mockingly. “Too bad!” 

 

“Ohh, you!” Laughing she got to her feet, ready to head back into the compound and feeling way better.

 

* * *

  
  


After a never ending shift in OR, all the officers sat together in the mess tent for breakfast. Hawk was sliding onto the bank next to Margaret, handing her a cup of coffee. 

Bj was already sleeping with his head on the table, Charles and Potter where sitting down on the opposite of the pair. 

Unaware of his action he placed a hand on Margaret's inner thigh, seeking some comfort in this touch while nursing his coffee. She jumped slightly and blushed. 

 

“Margaret are you okay?” Potter inquired.

 

“I’m fine. Perfectly fine. Why shouldn’t I be fine?” She was bubbling.

 

“You are quilted red. Hopefully you are not rising a fever.” The Commander said with a raised eyebrow. 

 

Hawk held his other hand on her forehead. “Doesn't feel hot. I don’t think we have to worry, Colonel.” 

 

Margaret couldn't belief Hawk didn’t noticed why she was blushing but he really wasn’t aware of breaking their rules.  

Feeling the same comfort of this touch as he did, she let herself have a little of it and didn’t move his hand. It also felt quite exciting having a little secret right in front of the others but she was sure it was just the lack of sleep and all the hard work, that caused those thoughts.

 

She was sitting in her tent, enraged by herself and him. Didn’t she say normal life shouldn’t be influenced? And now there were those looks and small touches now and then, which shouldn’t exist. She ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand in OR, while handing him instruments or he was glancing towards her through the whole mess tent. Not even speaking of the breakfast today.

Hawk was puzzled about the new direction of their relationship. He couldn’t stand a day without watching her and longing for the next time under the tree. All the small touches and glances they stole helped but weren’t nearly enough to survive the day. He didn’t like this feeling, it never brought something good. Not knowing what else to do, he decided to ban his thoughts and just go on like nothing had changed.

 

* * *

 

They worked and they secretly met. Weeks floated by and his desire grew. Hawk wasn’t sure how to cope with it. This wasn’t his area of expertise. He was the joker and flirter, no deep feelings, no serious commitments. But, without him noticing, Margaret had made her way in his head and deeper. 

 

Wounded came in, this time it was a bulk of blood and flesh. Hawk was fighting the death like never before and lost. Most of the boys didn’t even make it to the OR. He was smashed as he entered the changing room. Potter and Margaret were sitting on the bench, not able to move. Hawkeye’s gaze fell on her.

 

“Major would you give me a hand for a second?” He asked, walking through the curtains.

 

“Is this really necessary, Hawk?” Margaret yawned.

 

Even by the state of his mind, Potter raised an eyebrow on her calling the other ‘Hawk’.

 

“Yes, it is essential! I really need you right here.” His tone made her get up in an instant. 

 

Potter shook his head, watching her disappear behind the curtains. 

 

Margaret saw Hawk leaning against the wooden wall. She approached him with a questioning look. “What is-” He was pulling her close burying his face in her neck. Her hands slowly came to the back of his head. She was shocked, it caught her completely off guard. 

All he knew was that he needed her right then and there. Only she was able to hold him up now. He didn’t think about all the others who could walk in on them or even cared if they did.

 

“Hawk, this wood is not oak.” She said.

 

“I don’t care. I need you right now.” He whispered.

 

“But I care.” Her voice was still soft but demanding. “Let us finish up here and go for a walk then?”

He straightened himself, staring deep into her eyes. He suddenly realised what had happened. He just crossed a line he never thought he would ever cross again and especially not with Margaret. 

 

“No, I’m fine. Just a knee-jerk reaction. Sorry for it.” With this he left the room. At first, Margaret was at ease but a steadily rising feeling of hurt spread. She wanted to be there for him as he was for her but this was neither the place nor the time. 

 

Hawk was draining his drink as Bj came into the Swamp. 

 

“This sucks!” Bj was falling on his cot, face first. “How many will make it?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I will make it to the morning.” Hawkeye was rubbing his face. He lay down, turning his back to his friend. His mind went wild. He didn’t want to cross this line. He didn’t want to fall in love, not here. This place wasn’t right for that. 

Maybe he wasn’t in love. Maybe it was just this place. All the horror and death must had taken it’s toll on him. 

 

His dreams were dark and confusing and as he woke Hawk felt like crap. He was dragging himself to the mess tent. Grabbing a cup of coffee, he sat down in a corner far away from all the other people. Soon, first Bj and then Margaret joined him. As she settled next to him her leg touched his and he twitched away, not sure why. While the others went on like normal he decided to cut down the time he spent with Margaret. 

 

In the next days he tried his best to stay away from the tree but sooner or later he found himself under the leafs, cuddling close to her. 

She noticed a change in his behavior. He wasn’t this easy any more, his voice was more serious and now and then he shifted uncomfortably around.  

 

* * *

 

It felt strange in his arms today. She was worrying about the development under the tree for several weeks now. It also had secretly entered their everyday life more and more. He gave her strength and reassurance but she felt slowly more for him than just friendship. It was a kind of addiction now.

 

“Hawk, we should talk.” She moved his arm off her shoulder.

 

“If you think so…” He had heard those words a lot in his life but this time he wasn’t sure to be glad or afraid.

 

“I think this went in a false direction. We are not supposed to act like this. It will go wrong and leave at least one of us broken in the end.” 

 

“I know… but Mags, I just can’t let this go. I’ve tried. I’m longing for our secret meetings. You are the only one who can put me back together!”

 

“Hawk… don’t make it more complicated. It won’t work. Let’s stop it as long as we are able to.”

 

“And if I’m not able anymore? I don’t know, if I’m glad or not that you try to end our arrangement but I’m not able to go back to where we were.”

 

“We have to. I won’t cross that line!”

 

“Fine.” He got up. “So see you later, Major.” He headed back to the camp, needing a drink more than ever.

 

Margaret was watching the sunset as she felt the tree in her back. Tears welled up in her eyes, suddenly not sure if this was the right decision. Her head was spinning and she couldn’t stop herself from recalling every single encounter they had.

 

* * *

 

Ever since she had broken their agreement, he had avoided her as good as possible. On one hand he tried to accept her wish but on the other, he really had problems going back to where they had come from. It hurt him to see her. He wanted to take her in his arms and craved for her touch. With every passing day, his spirits sank. 

 

“What's wrong, Hawk?” Bj ask as he saw his buddy staring into space, while lying on the cot.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Oh c’mon. You are moping around for ever and a day.”

 

“No, I’m not. AND it is nothing.”

 

“You should go for your walks again. Since you stopped it, you’re not bearable at all.”

 

“Thanks I walked far enough. Actually this is the reason.” Hawk said, regretting it immediately.

 

“For what? Hawk, I might be able to help you if you’d just talk to me.” 

 

“Beej, just let it go, PLEASE! It will get better soon. I promise. Now, is there any gin left?” 

 

Bj was shaking his head but then poured the other a fresh one. Silently both sipped their drinks. 

 

“Did you hear one of the nurses asked for a transfer.” Bj tried to do small talk.

 

“Really? Why?”

 

“It seems like Margaret treated her quite harshly. She isn’t in the best mood either lately. You two could team up.”

“Arg… that's it. I’m off.” Hawk yelled, storming out of the tent.

 

“What did I say?” The other asked shocked but Hawkeye had already left the camp borders behind.

His feet lead him, unbidden, to the oak. Now he was standing there, eyes glued to the dry, sandy mark they had left by sitting at its stem. They had sat there so many times the grass was gone. 

He sat down, not on the mark but next to it. His gaze fell on the fields in front of him as he let his thoughts wander.

He didn’t know how much time had passed as he heard steps nearing. He moved further around the tree to be sure he was not seen. 

Margaret dropped to the ground on the exact opposite side of the stem. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on top.

 

“Oh god. I hate this place.” She sighed. “How I wish he would be here right now.”

 

Hawk waited but only silence followed.

 

“And if he is?” As she heard his voice, she had to suppress a scream. Her head bounced up in full alert. But as she realised who had asked, she slowly relaxed against the oak again, not having an answer.

 

Abandoning words, he moved his hand to the marks. Hers slowly covered his, squeezing it briefly. As she withdrew her hand he grabbed and held it in place. They sat there, not speaking a word or getting closer, still having the oak between them. Both got lost in the feeling of skin on skin. Newly discovering the comfort and strength they had to give each other.

 

“I need you.” His confession came gruff.

 

“I… We…” Margaret was fighting with herself. Ever since the last encounter under the tree, her heart fought her head and now she felt her mind losing the battle. The warmth of his touch was creeping up her arm and steadily filling her whole body. “I… We...” 

 

“Mags.”  He stopped her with his soft voice. His thumb caressed the side of her hand. Silently, he pleaded to the crown above them. He thought he could do it without her but had failed miserably. Not letting her hand go, he moved towards her, coming to a halt on his mark. He waited and hoped she would close the gap between them.

 

Her mind had lost, immediately after he had called her ‘Mags’. It just waved the white flag in surrender. All her defences burst into nothing. She needed him despite all other circumstances but it took her a long time to find the power to move.

 

Sliding next to him, she settled on the other sandy spot. For him, it felt like an eternity and with every minute his faith had begun to crumble. 

Side by side with still joined hands, they watched the sunset. 

Hawk placed his arm around her shoulder and tugged her closer, having her head rest against his collarbone. Groaning, he pressed a kiss to her hair, feeling freed of a huge weight.

 

* * *

 

The following days made clear, it wasn’t over. They not only couldn't go back, they couldn’t even stay like this. Unspoken words lingered between them. Every upcoming situation was overshadowed by suppressed emotion.

She sat in the Officer's Club, nursing her drink and feeling blue eyes lingering on her back. They had been there since she had taken the stool. 

 

“Major, may I join you?”

 

“Oh, Colonel. Yes… yes take a seat.” She had hoped, a particular surgeon would ask but that was better than sitting alone. Maybe Colonel Potter might distract her a bit.

 

“Now Margaret, how is it going?”

 

“It is all fine, Sir. Everything as usual.” She knew her voice betrayed her but Potter merely raised an eyebrow. They remained silent for several minutes until he offered, “Margaret, if you need someone to talk, be assured my door is always open.”

 

She was terrified. Was it that obvious? 

 

“Why do you assume there could be something wrong?”

 

“Just a guess, Major. It seems like you are not this present anymore and lately you haven’t complained about your nurses.” She gave Potter an unamused look. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with that… uh... as long as your work is still this good but I just wanted to make sure you are alright.” The Commander hastily added. 

 

She sighed. “I’m fine.”

  
  


Hawk watched her sitting at the bar. Bj was talking to him but he wasn't able to listen. His mind was occupied assessing the dynamic of his and Margaret's relationship. He had already said that he needed her but that wasn’t the whole truth. He was craving the touch of her lips, the certainty that she wouldn’t leave him again. 

 

“Hawk, are you listening? Hawk...Haaawk?”

 

“Uh?”

 

“What’s wrong with you? Would you please just talk to me!”

 

Margaret got up, leaving the Officer’s club. 

 

“No.” He said distractedly as he left Bj behind and followed her outside. 

He walked several steps behind her as she was about to turn to her quarter. On impulse, he grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the oak. 

 

“What are you doing?” She hissed.

 

“I’m gathering all my courage.” She remained silent, feeling uncomfortable at holding his hand in the middle of the camp. Thankfully, no one was to be seen.

 

As they arrived at the tree he sat down, looking straight forward. She was standing beside him unsure how to proceed.

 

“What do you have to gather your courage for?”

 

“Sit down!” 

 

“Why?” She was hesitating but he pulled her down. 

 

Margaret settled next to him, still irritated by his behavior. He pulled her close, so that she could feel his heartbeat as her cheek was pressed to his ribs. His hand was stroking her side while he kept on gazing into the distance.

 

“Mags, I need you.”

 

“I know. But-”

 

“No, you don’t understand. I really need you.”

 

“Hawk, what-”

 

“I need you in my life. I want to be with you every single day. I never thought it would ever happen but I realised that you are the woman I want to spent my life with.”

 

Margaret looked up, still trying to cope with her inner struggle. She was afraid of the meaning behind his words. She wasn’t prepared for this step. “I’m not su-” He silenced her with a tender kiss, slowly capturing her mouth, absorbing every little tingle coming from the quick touch. The sheer onslaught of feelings quickly erased every plea she possibly could have uttered. The sensation of lips on lips let all the suppressed emotion burst to the surface. Departing briefly, they glanced into each other's eyes, only to meet again in a fierce kiss.  

 

Two hours later they strolled back to the camp, holding hands, feeling more elated than ever before. 

 

“We should keep this confidential. I’m not ready to share our little secret.” Margaret said, fearing the gossip.

 

“If you like… I wouldn’t know how to tell Beej anyway.” 

 

He stopped her just out of camps sight to kiss her again.

 

“Imagine, none of this would have happened without our oak.” He smiled.

 

“Then thanks to the oak.” After a final kiss, she left him behind rushing to her tent. He watched her go, still tasting her smile on her lips and feeling himself mirroring it. Everything worked out. Finally.

 

* * *

 

Hawk was enjoying the day. It was warm and not a single cloud in sight. His best friend was approaching him.

 

“I can’t believe we just had a 19 hour stint and you are grinning like the Cheshire cat.” Bj complained.

 

“I’m just revelling in the warmth of the sun. Why shouldn’t I be grinning on such a nice day?”

 

“With you I’ll never be any the wiser.” Came the frowning answer.

 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Hawk said mockingly.

 

“What about a drink in the Officer's Club?” 

Hawkeye’s gaze fell on something behind his friend. 

 

“No, I think it is time for my walk.” With this he got up and made his way out of the camp.

 

Bj turned around and spotted Margaret coming from her shift in post-op.

 

“Hey Margaret, care for a drink?” 

 

“No, I really have to do… um… my… um…” She was watching Hawkeye vanishing in the distance. “My...laundry.”

 

“Mh... okay.” He eyed her suspiciously as she followed Hawk. “Don’t you need your clothes?” 

 

“Uh..? Yes I’ll get them later.” She waved him off.

  
  
  


Watching the leafs moving in the wind, he used her lap as a pillow. She started to caress his hair while enjoying the mild summer breeze. 

 

“I love you, Mags.” She kissed him softly in response.

 

In the middle of war, they created their own calmth in the eye of the storm. A calmth, not even the years to come would be able to ruin.

  
  
The End.


End file.
